It seems as though whenever things seem to be sailing along pretty easily....life decides it just has to slap you in the face. You know, to ensure you know who is in charge.
A very dear friend of mine, whom I have known online only since 2001, has a 3 year old son who is currently fighting for his life. Sarah and I met at BabyCenter.com when we were both pregnant with our 2001 babies (her daughter Caroline is 5 days younger than Middle Child). Sarah is a saint. There is no other way to describe her. I am constantly amazed at the resilience of this remarkable woman and her positive outlook even when things are not going well. Her son Cooper had transplant surgery in April and now they are finally home in Houston after many months of being away from her husband and other children. Sadly, however, Cooper is not doing very well. He is currently in severe rejection and I dread the day I go online to discover that his young body just stopped fighting. He has always been a fighter, from day one. Despite never having met this family in person, they feel like my family. I care about them so much and I am so sad when I realize that Cooper's days may be numbered. I hope that I am wrong. I know Sarah and Kevin hope that too. Please pray for this amazing family that Cooper, once again, amazes us all and pulls through this latest crisis.
In addition, I found out last night that my grandmother is back in the hospital. They think her kidneys are failing. She collapsed in the bathroom on Friday and didn't want to go to the hospital. The family is taking this as she is giving up -- she just wants to go and be with J who passed away in a fire accident about 7 years ago. He was her youngest and she was always the closest with him. When I heard, I couldn't stop the emotional outburst. I cried. I had to stave off a panic attack. Grandma is 78. She has lived a good life and lived to see her children grow, her grandchildren grow and enjoy the company of many greatgrandbabies. My mom is petrified that if I go see Grandma in the hospital, it'll be one more trauma to set me off. So I declined going today. I will wait until Monday -- when I get past my daughter's birthday and Halloween tomorrow, when my brain has had some time to adjust to the idea that this could really be it...and if it isn't, that the time is probably coming sooner rather than later.
My dad was the one who told me grandma might not leave the hospital alive this time. He and grandma do not get along. There has always been animosity there. While there are certainly things my grandma has done that I do not agree with, I also recognize that she is my grandma and I love her. I am not ready to say goodbye (are we ever really ready?). My dad, upon realizing how upset I became hearing that she is worse than they originally thought, reminded me that this is part of life. People life, people die. It happens every day. I know this. However, it doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm just not ready to say goodbye.
Hold the ones you love close because you just never know when they aren't going to be there for you to hold them anymore.